The first time since you went away. I started to stop myself as it felt so out-of-place. A misfit with the grief and tears. But, then out of nowhere, I remembered you saying, while we spoke on the phone, how you thought our laughter was similar. A God whisper, perhaps. A reminder that after all we are sisters and we did share some of the sameness sisters share.
After my little God moment, I think I will hold my laughter more closely, use it more often. While I know we shared hurt, and pain, and tears too.. It is in the laughter that I will hear you.
The tears aren’t behind me, it is way to soon, but I want you to know big sis, I will be fine. I laughed today, and heard you.
(A special thank you to my far-away friend for the beautiful reminder to keep facing the sun). Love you Autumn.