I’m traveling circus train
Have you heard the new Kellie Pickler song, “A LIttle Bit Gypsy” ? I can’t stop singing it, so much so, I am starting to drive myself nuts with it, not to mention the dirty looks I get from my sixteen year old. But, boy does it resonate with me.
A traveling Circus train, a spinning weather vein, born to chase the sun, a wild horse that’s got to run. I will always be a little bit gypsy.
I see it in my boys too. That wandering spirit. They are freer and more brave then I ever was and I often don’t know whether to celebrate it, or curse it. Their travels take them away from me, to places I have never seen and people I don’t know. I can’t keep them always safe, yet I know their lives are richer for the experiences.
I had a deep need as a young woman to find the roots I never felt that I had. I dreamed of marriage and the babies and the picket fence. All things I found. And I happily built a home. One that I am proud of. One that has served me well. A place to plant my life and grow a deep rooting system. Yet, I always longed for the road. Day trips when I wasn’t so brave, or strong. But, now those little day trips have turned into week long adventures pulling my trailer and eating sandwiches along the roadside. Stopping to take photos or laying down in the fields watching the ski slide by. I don’t long for foreign lands like some, but every inch of America calls my name. Not, by plane, rather by roads and back roads.
It is hard to love a wanderer, I am learning that first hand, because as much as they love you, you know that they can’t stay. The roots that you have planted for them, are their’s to be visited, and you hope that one day they will want to settle in next to yours, but you are left wondering if they ever will. All while time ticks on, I get a little grayer and older and….
I often times wonder who I would have been had life not uprooted me so early, embedding in me the desire to be re-potted somewhere safe. Had I not needed the time to heal and a family of my own to help me to mend my brokenness. Would I have been more brave like my men are today? would I have traveled the seas as they have? or would I have the love for the back-roads that I do today?
One thing is for sure I would still have been, a little bit gypsy.