It isn’t often that I feel.. well, BLUE.. as in sad, or melodically or….. Usually, to be honest, I keep myself to busy to really concern myself with the shades of blue. But, every now and again, I find myself bogged down in it…. feeling like my writing isn’t going where I want it to, feeling like at 51 I should have it more together than I do. Feeling that by now I should be accomplished at SOMETHING…. I have those moments when I ask myself, “Why is it that I can do for others what I cannot even do for me?” what is the road block – – – I do believe I am worth it. I don’t lack self esteem or self worth…. I can get trapped in all the would-a, should-s’ that someone who has lived, can find themselves in….
I am a connector.. I am happiest when I am connecting one talent with another.. one brilliant friend to that person that can take them to the next level…. or tell the stories of the brilliant people that I meet… Pure heaven for me…..
Yet…… in spite of it all… “blue” creeps in sometimes…. Maybe it is meant to be a time of reconnecting with my own self… maybe, it is meant to cause me to pause and reassess my priorities…or maybe, it is meant to remind me that every aspect of life is a conscious choice.. and if everyday was on auto -drive then, maybe I would forget that I choose to wake up each day, and choose life… choose my adventures, choose to be in the company of people who propel me to a higher level, push me (in a good way) to be the best version of me…
“blue” has been given a bad wrap I have decided. When we say that someone has the blues, we automatically think that it is something they need to be rescued from.. but maybe there are shades of blue… meant to serve us, instead of harm us.. stop us… slow us down just a bit to take the time to re-evaluate our choices. Remind us that there are choices. Feeling fragile and vulnerable isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In my case, it allows me to be reminded of the amazing friends I have in my life and how quickly they circle the wagons when one of us is experiencing shades of blue. And, in doing that floods the heart and soul with love and gratitude. Yep, it isn’t a bad thing.. it’s just shades of blue.