It’s peculiar, really; That moment when you are out taking care of business, talking to someone about something unrelated to your “out of nowhere, a-ha moment.” I had one this week. Excited about interviewing yet another brilliant family about their success… making light that their 15 year journey, was an “overnight success” when it hit me….. yep, just out of nowhere…. Success, no matter the venue.. comes by putting one step in front of the other.. sometimes day in and day out for a matter of days, months and years…. Success is not the destination, but the journey.. the accumulation of a lot of small steps won….. But, we forget that there is also small battles lost…. that the dance of success is often one step forward and one step backwards, the two steps forward and only one step back.. and the dance continues.
Prior to the interview, I had been struggling on a number of levels… seemed all the areas in my life where collectively in that backward motion… two steps back… and I was feeling well….. Unsuccessful. Feeling as if I were ready to throw in the towels… the towels in my health, my writing, my cowgirl quest…. all of it.. it had all become.. well… too much of a challenge.
I think that can happen when one is dealing with health issues that others can’t see. Those silent illnesses that just stop one in their tracks… They seem to make everything more difficult. It becomes easy to set your table for a pity party for one…. and feel like God forgot you there..
In all honesty, I cannot even truly recall what was actually said that brought me to my a-ha moment… but, what I caught was – how important it is to take the bull by the horns. And so, that is what I think I will do.
Finding renewed health, isn’t always as easy as it may seem. Other friends’ path and your path aren’t always the same. Regaining health can be much like a full-time job. I have to admit, when I had my thyroid removed last year, I truly expected that to be the beginning of the end to these health challenges, I thought by now I would be published, and Sis and I would be out making new adventures. I never imagined that it would not be anything other than how I saw it in my heart and mind. Yet, here I am .
So tomorrow at 9:00 a.m I will pull myself up by my boot straps and begin again……. with a blood draw.. my version of taking this bull by the horns..Prayers Welcomed.