I once read, that if we all stood in a circle – laid our problems out in the center of the circle and mixed them up, after comparing our “stuff” with the stuff of others, when given the opportunity to pick up the stuff we would choose to deal with, we would humbly pick up our own stuff in comparison to what others have to go through.
So when I say, “I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired” I do it, fully aware that the hand I have been given is nothing compared to the hands that others deal with…..
Yet, I am also aware, that I need to honor this battle I am in… because it is a formidable one. If you have never had unyielding fatigue… it may not be in your understanding to comprehend the feeling of going to bed exhausted, just to wake up exhausted…. Or the frustration of being dog- tired and yet not be able to sleep. Or if you have never experienced your body shut down on you, then you may not be able to comprehend why it is hard to commit to things, worrying about whether you will let others down if you have one of “those” spells.
I don’t know how some people do it….. the waiting. If for no other reason to be your own best advocate, doing so just so that you can begin the healing process on your time frame…. is enough of a reason for me…. Few people understand that….. you begin to lose your health…. you then finally go to the doctor…. then tests are run…. and then more tests are run.. and then….. it could be a month or more that you are in the illness before you are ever truly even beginning the “practice” of healing.
That is “something” that just doesn’t work for me. Don’t misunderstand me. I am all for western medicine. I have the best care provider in the area (in my opinion), but the truth of it is, that no matter how much someone else cares for you, wants you to be better, the 86,400 seconds of every/any given day that I struggle are ultimately MY responsibility, to learn potential answers for.
I am learning that, in health, I have to be the star in my own show. Even in my compromised state, I have spent hours in from of my computer researching treatments and protocols. Learning as much as I can about how the body works. The function of the Adrenal. The cause of it not working. The herbs and vitamins and diet that can further the healing environment.
It isn’t the easiest road, but it is for me, the most rewarding role. The things I am learning, are mind blowing. To personally experience your body respond to diet changed and herbs and rest.. is empowering.
Would I have chosen this journey? NO… Has it been easy to explore and confront this issues that got me here? No… Is it humbling to face my limitations? YES.
I wish that I had listened to the more subtle whispers. I regret not taking more stalk in the “other” health crisis’ that I have had and not been afraid to ask why and done the hard work of digging deeper.
But, it isn’t the kind of regret that one can get stuck in… it is the kind that says, “dang.” and then can move on. I suppose it is true that one can never really appreciate health unless they have in some way had health challenged.
What is the prescription one might ask. It’s simple. Being Present.