I can still recall when the older boys each graduated high school …. and the mixture of emotions that came with them… all the hustle and bustle of planning their graduation parties, getting their announcements in the mail, and the honor of taking their senior photos. I loved those things. They kept me distracted from the sadness welling up inside of me. I never aspired to do more than to be their mom. I didn’t have lofty dreams and ambitions like some moms, as I found/find my greatest joy in being their mom.
While I willingly celebrated their accomplishments, goals and dreams….the sadness that their graduations meant that in many ways, I was losing them. Some almost ten years later, I have learned that it somehow all works out.
As our youngest slides into his high school completion, my emotions are somewhat the same, although way less sadness. Now, I know that can be taken the wrong way, and yes I will miss him when he chooses to fly the nest, although it will not be this year as he is hoping to stay put and work for a year before venturing out on his own. SO, knowing that, all that is really left is PURE UNADULTERATED GIDDINESS.
I knew I was in over my head when it came to his schooling early on…. I still have scars around my ankles where we literally had to peel him off of me. In the 13 years of schooling I can recall only one brief moment, when he was in Mr. Gilbertson’s class where I felt I could breath for a moment. We have truly had to blaze a trail specifically for him, but he did it. So when I see him at the end of this finish line… I couldn’t be more proud of him, and honestly, thrilled for me. 🙂
I cannot think on ANYTHING that makes me want to scream, dance and rejoice more than knowing that in a few short days my days of being a mom of a grade schooler, middle schooler or high schooler is OVER. That the season of my life that is dictated by the school calendar is behind me. No more 11th hour “chats” or runs to the local craft store, or office Supply for materials for a project due in a few hours. No more English or Brit Lit book reports where I have to sit and re-read the book in order to answer a question or check whether the report is done properly. No more feeling like an idiot when he presents a math problem that I have no idea how to even find the answer and have to look back at him and admit I am a math failure.
Congratulations Matthew. I know that you will find a great life waiting for you out there. Your sense of humor, your wit, your intelligence, your passion for those things that are uniquely you, will allow you to find a place out there in the big old world… and I will celebrate you all along the way. My life is so much richer because of you… you make me laugh, you protect me (from peanuts), and have been the best computer guru a mom could ask for.
SO if you see me out and about and I seem unusually giddy, and obnoxiously joyful,… just know this… “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, but somehow we survived to tell the tales.