Boy life can be messy. This morning, I found myself cuddled up on the sofa with my coffee and my unopened bible, knowing full well the answers I so desperately needed were in there. But, I couldn’t even form the questions. From seemingly nowhere, the tears came. Tears that I have managed to keep back until now. I laid my unopened bible on the coffee table in front of me, trading it for a box of photos, when I came across this photo of mom….. and I laughed out loud. As I pulled the photo in close I was reminded of a scripture that I had memorized earlier, to be honest during a time of a very difficult relationship with my mom.. “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.” Isaiah 43:1-2
Knowing this truth has always been my center. Reminded of the truth of whose I am, I felt myself relax. Then I felt immediately struck by the word “WHEN”… not “if”… but “when”. I am not sure where I got the idea that when all is well and the waters are low… I am in God’s favor, but when the waters come somehow I am not. I love this verse so much as it serves to remind me that WHOSE I am is not measured by the waters (or trials) that come. God does not love me less when life comes flooding in. It may however show me how big my faith is by seeing how easily I press into HIM when the current is pulling and shoving my emotions every which way.
Life has shown me people disappoint, sickness comes, leaving us feeling lost in how to help, what to say, what to do, and goodbyes are inevitable. This morning, I was exhausted. Heartbroken over so many things that are out of my control to fix, feeling that I was allowing all of it to push me under the waves only to realize the raging water was only knee-deep and all I need to do is stand in the truth of whose I am.
As a photographer, it may seem clique for me to say, “thank God for pictures that can remind us of the good times, the fun times ……..,” but, this morning this silly photo helped me catch my breath and refocus. As a Christian, it may seem an eye roller to hear how important it is to memorize those bible verses, but those memorized verses helped my spirit….. stand.
There are so many going through so much. And the simple truth is that it helps to know whose you are, as it’s a messy life.
A Cowgirl Called 